A Normal Day in the Courtroom
by sammi.carnivore
Summary: A normal day in the courtroom of Phoenix Wright; or is it? Well, the two lawyers present would like to think so.


AN: This fan fiction makes little or no sense at all. xD I just typed out the first things that came to my mind and made a story out of it. Please don't take this too seriously or you'll completely miss the humor in it. Haha~ I hope you enjoy…to some extent.

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A normal day in court, it seemed. The witness had finished their testimony, and it was time for the defense's cross examination. Phoenix's eyes closed for a second as he thought through the witness's testimony. His face twisted with frustration; there were no contradictions from what he could see.

Manfred von Karma looked at him from the other side on the court room; a menacing smirk across his face as he bunched the sleeves of his coat in his hands. His arms then rested at his side as he looked directly at Phoenix, "Does the defense finally rest their case, Mr. Wright?" he taunted, his sexy voice echoing throughout the court room.

Phoenix opened his eyes quickly and stared at Manfred with an intense gaze. However, before he could respond, the most epic of things happened right before his eyes.

Ronald McDonald swung open the doors to the court room. Everyone turned their gaze to the doors wondering what the hell that fast-food advertising clown wanted. "Hambugah!" Ronald shouted, his voice echoing due to the court's silence. He then positioned himself to where he could begin doing pelvic thrusts in the middle of the courtroom.

Phoenix looked upon the scene with an expression of absolute horror. Ronald then allowed a hamburger to shoot from his crotch with every thrust; hitting a few innocent children across the head.

Manfred had taken cover on the floor. He had curled up into a little ball and begun rocking back and forth. His eyes were wide as he stared directly at the wall. This case was going all wrong, it was becoming imperfect; this was madness! A crotch-burger landed directly in front of the poor man, causing him to let out a scream of terror.

There was only one who could possibly take down this demonic crotch-burger shooting clown. That woman burst from the ceiling and landed before Manfred, "Hey, ya'll. I'll save you!" she announced in a very strong southern accent. She wore a blue Power Rangers costume; which she showed off proudly with her hands on her hips and her chest puffed out.

Ronald looked at the hero that stood in front of him, "Weer me to go you her was?!" he demanded.

"My name? Why, I'm Paula Deen ya'all!" the woman replied.

Ronald gasped in an over dramatic fashion as he put the palm of his hand about an inch away from his mouth, "Orly?!" he cried.

"Yarly." Paula replied. She then squatted down slightly with her mouth gaping open; she was chargin' her lazar. Suddenly, her entire body began to vibrate, signaling that her lazar was ready. Firing her Shoop da Whoop lazar, Ronald was knocked over. He lay on the floor unconscious with his giant red afro burned to a charred mess. Paula Dean returned to normal, smiling as she pulled a stick of butter from her pocket, "My job is done here, ya'all." She announced, taking a large bite of her stick of butter before departing from the court room via the hole she had previously created in the ceiling.

Phoenix's eyes peeped over the top of the defense table. He was trembling slightly as he spoke, "I-I-Is it safe to come out y-y-yet?" he stammered, checking to see if the coast was clear.

Manfred continued to rock back and forth, "Ronald…clowns…hamburgers…everywhere…Paula Dean…laser…" he muttered to himself with a slightly delirious tone.

Phoenix began to chuckle nervously, "Hehe…I guess we can go back to the trial now." He said, beginning to slowly raise his trembling body from under the table with a weak smile on his face.

Just as he said this, something epic ensued. Winston Payne and Richard Wellington fell from the ceiling while doing some dirty stuff.

Phoenix clapped a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from screaming; then ducking back under the table to avoid being seen by the two.

Justin Timberlake then burst in through the doors after the two love-makers with a huge-ass flamethrower on his back, "It I time for me to end this!" he cried, air-humping an invisible Madonna.

"Oh, for the love of Christ," Phoenix muttered to himself, wondering when this madness would end.

Winston and Richard hardly cared that the celebrity has just burst in, ready to ruin their fun. As they continued with their dirty stuff, they began to make some loud and rather unholy noises that disturbed nearly everyone in the court room.

Justin Timerlake held up the flamethrower and aimed it at the two men, "That is enough!" he exclaimed, firing his flamethrower.

Teh man secks had been incinerated. This made gingerbread men around the world burst into tears.

Manfred had been fed up with dealing with this and pulled out a large machine gun and aimed it to no one in particular, "Say hello to my little friend!" he snarled with a slight accent. He then began to fire at Justin, who stood in the middle of the courtroom still air humping.

Justin turned his head to face Manfred as the bullets merely bounced off of him, "Bullets do not affect me!" he roared.

Manfred sighed and threw his gun to the floor, "Screw this." He announced, walking out of the courtroom to go make himself a Pop Tart.

Suddenly, for the convenience of the creator, everyone exploded. The End.

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AN: If you think this is really the end, you're dead wrong. xD There's still around two more chapters that I have yet to type out. I hope you liked it. Please review! This is the first fan fiction I've actually posted, so I'm not sure how it'll go over. xD Thanks!


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